This is a Serious One

September 09, 2018

Okay . . . how do I write this?

This is something that’s really hard for me personally to write about, partly because it has had a major impact on my life, as well as countless others.

It’s hard to talk about. It really is.

This is not especially going to be a “fun” post. I don’t know how much I’m going to format this. Some posts just have to be blunt and raw. Some things just have to be said. (and honestly I’m exhausted right now.)

Okay. Here we go.

How much do you think about what you do? I mean, really? Do you ever stop and think about the words coming out of your mouth? About the words you post online in comments and tweets and posts? About the way you treat others, even unconsciously?

More specifically: how much do you think about this: how anything you do can affect someone’s life for better - or for worse?

It’s kind of a hard topic to think about. Maybe it’s because you have a hard time putting yourself into someone else’s shoes. That can definitely be hard for everyone.

Answer this question honestly: Do you try to make a positive impact on everyone’s life?

I know this isn’t making much sense yet, but bear with me.

Why do we even say cruel things? Does it make us feel better? Does it convince us that nobody’s perfect? Do we think “Oh, they can take it”?

Or do we think about the kid who sits alone? Do we think about their life, and how we can make a difference in it?

Almost one and a half years ago, a classmate of mine committed suicide.

It was completely unexpected.

He’d been a good, quiet kid. I’d admired him for his ability to listen and for his determination. But I didn’t really know that much about him. Not really. I should have gotten to know him, though.

And then, one day, my family and I were coming home from my brother’s basketball game, and my mom and I saw an email saying that he had passed away. They didn’t say how or when. Not surprising.

I’m not gonna lie: that week was the worst week of my life.

It’s one thing to have someone in your family die. It’s another thing to have a classmate die, and then go through days of school, where everyone knew him, and everyone is trying very hard not to lose it in class. I’m tearing up just writing about this.

I’m not saying this for a pity party. I’m using this as an example.

No one truly knows what goes on in someone’s head. Only that person and God knows (unless the person tells). We don’t know how bad their mental state is. So why do we intentionally hurt others?

If we truly knew the impact our words had, we would start saying more positive things. And if we truly knew the impact our prescence had on others, we would spend more time with the people we love and the people who need it.

Please. If you get nothing out of this post, please don’t just drift through life. Actively try to help people. Actively make a difference in people’s lives. And don’t take life too lightly. We only get one. Don’t waste it.

Thousands of people commit suicide every year. And yet, this is becoming a norm.

Why? Why are we as a society becoming used to this?

Let’s do something about it. Let’s be a positive influence in everyone’s lives. Let us be selfless, caring, and above all, loving.

In Jesus' name, Amen.


As I said, that was a serious post. What did you guys think? Let’s talk!

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  1. How do you comment normally on a post like this?! It's so true, so heartfelt. I know what you mean. Thanks for writing a post like this, Nicole! *hugs*

    1. Oh my word, Danielle, thank you so much! *hugs back*

  2. I had a classmate in college committ suicide also. While I never knew him all that well, both my roommates were devasted - being on that support team was one of the hardest things I ever went through.

    So yes, I wholeheartedly agree with you, Nicole. Never drift through life :)


    1. Oh, Catherine, I’m so sorry! I know - I had to be on that support group as well, and it’s so hard.

      Thank you. <3

  3. Wow. Thank you so much for writing this, Nicole, it's something that needs to be said everyday and we all need to remember it. Thank you for this post, I won't be forgetting your words anytime soon. <3

    1. Thank YOU for reading, Gray. I agree: we need to remember to think of life as a gift. <3

  4. I'm glad you wrote this post, Nicole. I've never known someone who later committed suicide, but I have thought about the prospect (of 'what if someone-'), and I think that - no matter how small an acquaintance we had - I would beat myself up forever about whether or not something small I said could have helped. (The book "13 Reasons Why", while some people say they found it traumatic/unhelpful/triggering, made me think about this a lot.) So I've tried to think about how I talk to people, and to make an effort to include people. And I pray that I may never go through the experience.

    Thank you again - and let's all try to be the bright spot in people's day!

    1. Thank you, Jem. I pray that no one you know goes through it, either!

      I agree - let’s be a light to others!

  5. My heart hurts. Thank you for this post, Nicole. It's such an important reminder.

  6. I haven't had anyone I know commit suicide, but when I was younger, we had a number of people in our church pass away after fighting with cancer/other issues in the space of a year or so. That really had an impact on my life, as these were people I knew and loved, and I got to see my church family stand up and really help these people and their families. It made me treasure my time with people, because you never know when you'll see them last. Don't ever miss a chance to apologize or to encourage someone.

    1. Wow, that seems like a rough time. It is encouraging to see everyone band together and help those people, though. And I agree: we should treasure our time with everyone.

      Thanks for reading, Julian!

  7. This is such a beautiful post! While no one I know has commited suicide, some friends of my friends have and they grieve so much. Thank you for sharing this! <33



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