How to Beat Camp NaNo (The Easy Way)

March 17, 2019

Happy Sunday - and St. Patrick’s Day!

So, all you writers out there will have heard of this thing called “Camp NaNoWriMo,” in which we writers attempt to duplicate NaNoWriMo during a different month. This time, we can set the word count goal, so of course, all sorts of crazy things can ensue.

But . . . what if it wasn’t difficult at all? What if there was a way to just . . . win, with a snap of your fingers?

Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you, there IS a way. Actually, there are several.

(By the way, this entire post is mostly satire. But I mean, if you want to take it seriously, go right ahead. I won’t stop you.)

Set your word count goal to 1 word.

I mean, come on, you can literally write the word “a,” put it into the Camp website, and CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR WORD COUNT GOAL HAS BEEN ACHIEVED!

Seriously, for everyone who wants to say “I wrote every word,” this is for you.

Use filler text.

You know that “lorem ipsul dolor” stuff you see everywhere online? That’s filler text, and you can find some big chunks of it to copy-and-paste if you do a simple Internet search.

It might take a whopping five minutes to get all your text inserted, but hey, this makes any word count goal possible - even 200,000 words! Just think about that for a minute.

Have someone else write your story.

That way, you can still get that same sense of achievement when your account becomes a winner, without actually having to do any of that lame storytelling stuff! Leave that to your friend, or your enemy. Your choice. . . .

(Although if you pick your enemy, don’t blame me if they put you in their story and then kill you off. Writers are unpredictable creatures.)

Slam your head against the keyboard as many times as necessary.

Eventually, your chin will hit the space bar enough times that you’ll hit your word count goal.

(By the way, I am not responsible for any brain damage, concussions, or any other injuries as a result of doing this step. This was YOUR choice, buddy.)

Burn your laptop with your pet dragon.*

This may not “technically” hit your word count goal, but that sweet satisfaction of seeing something that’s causing you stress turn to ashes will be worth it.

(Also, can someone please tell me where I can find a pet dragon because NONE OF THE BLACK MARKETS AROUND ME HAVE ANY. -_-)

*not recommended, as laptops are extremely expensive and this may not be worth it

Actually, just have your pet dragon magically achieve your word count goal.

Because it’s a DRAGON. Surely they can do SOMETHING to help you out here.

Download your brain to the computer.

Trust me. By the time it’s all loaded onto that teeny tiny device, two things can happen, both to your advantage:

  1. All your memories will have fried the database, and now you can’t work on your Camp NaNo projects anymore!
  2. If you can convert everything out of the programming code, you should be able to copy-and-paste unlimited amounts of “original” material into the camp website

. . . Do the work?

Let’s be honest here for a second. If you actually want to succeed at Camp NaNo, you really can’t do any of the aforementioned things.

The answer is simple for how to win Camp NaNo:

All you’ve got to do is WRITE SOMETHING.

If you need to change your word-count goal halfway through the month, no shame in that! I think I’ve done that every year I’ve participated in Camp NaNo.

What matters is that you’re actually getting a story, or a poem, or a play, or whatever you’re working on, down on a document or paper. That’s why NaNo was created.

(But seriously, if someone can direct me to a baby dragon that I can adopt, HIT ME UP.)


Are you doing Camp NaNo? Who of you is in the Fellowship of the Keyboards this year? Who’s got a pet dragon? Let’s talk!

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  1. Definitely the tried and true methods of NaNoing. Thank goodness I was once a dragon. The can do something about that 1 million word count no.

    Jk I am not crazy. Good luck with NaNo!!

    Danielle @ Snapper

    1. Hehe, most definitely. ;)

      Thanks, Danielle! If you’re doing it, good luck to you as well!

  2. This is hilarious! I love the dragon one. XD

  3. Nicole....

    GURL HOW COME YOUR POSTS ARE SO FLIPPIN AWESOME?????????????????????????????????

    I loved it! Especially the one about downloading your brain xD

  4. OMG--this post made my day! I'm not sure if I'm going to participate in Camp NaNo yet, but I'm thinking about it.

    And I have a pet bearded dragon if that counts. XD

    1. Aw, thanks, Kara! Ooo, if you’ve got time this April, you totally should! :)

      (And hey, with that pet bearded dragon you could DOMINATE the month. XD)

  5. This is all remarkably helpful. You should share this with our entire cabin so we're guaranteed to hit our group goals this year xD

    1. Hehe, thanks! And true, true, it would definitely put us ahead of schedule . . . XD

  6. This is great XD Wonderful, WONDERFUL advice here


  7. I love this. XD Definitely will be applying these tips to every aspect of my writerly pursuits.

    1. Thanks, Kathryn! And yes, please tell me how that goes - I’m curious! :)

  8. My St. Patricks day:

    Me: *goes to friends house for dinner*
    Friend: So, do you celebrate St. Patricks day?
    Me: *has no clue that's today* Nah...
    Me, later: *remembers my friends are from Scotland, but their parents were Irish* Well now they probably think I'm rude...

    Also, LOVED THIS POST!!!

    1. 😂😂 oh my goodness, that’s hilarious! Oh well, we’ve all got those facepalm moments......XD

      Haha, thanks, Julian!

  9. I haven't done a NaNo yet. I'm usually in the middle of a story when they are going on. Maybe some day. ;)
    Funny tips, not sure if I will be doing any of them :) besides the writting. Great post!

    1. Hopefully one of these days your story and NaNo will line up! :)

      And thanks! Yeah, that’s really the only tried-and-true method here.....XD

  10. Haha! Thanks for the laughs, Nicole! I needed this today. XD


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