On Comparison // aka a letter to myself XD
January 19, 2020
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
They're at a different stage of their art than you.
Don't worry - you'll get there eventually.
I hear this all the time from bloggers, YouTubers - you name it. It's posted all around the Internet and mentioned frequently in pep talks of all kinds.
It's so easy to hear and think, "Yeah, of course I won't do that. It's stupid."
But then you sit down at your desk and pull up your preferred word processor, and that blinking cursor stares you straight in the face.
And suddenly you begin thinking of all your favorite authors, and their lyrical prose, and their heartbreaking characters, and their intricate plots . . . the list goes on and on.
And your thoughts turn to your own story, and all the glaring typos and plot holes and characters with unclear motivations, and a sinking hole appears in your gut, the type that swallows every good thought you've ever had about your craft.
Replacing the good thoughts are thoughts like these:
I'll never be good enough.
So what if I'm "not at their level of craft yet"? I never will be anyways.
What's the point? My writing will never be as good as hers is.
I'm just not good enough.
And you know what?
You're absolutely right. You're not them. God didn't create you to be them. He created you to be you. And trust me, you are good enough for Him. If you weren't good enough, if you weren't worth something to Him, He never would have created you.
He gave you your talent. And if writing (or whatever your passion is) is something that sets your heart on fire and makes you smile and feel closer to Him, then He will give you the means to do it well.
But there's also the saying of "The Lord helps those who help themselves."
If you want God to work with and through your writing to make it great and powerful, then you have to put in the work.
And no, this isn't always easy. This is a constant struggle for me. Work is work, no matter if it's your passion or not. And work means bending over a desk for hours at a time, pondering word choice. Work means giving 110% of yourself for as long as you can.
Work isn't supposed to be easy. That's why it's called work.
You know what is easy?
Procrastination. Comparison. The thought of "I'll never be as good as any other successful writer, so I might as well watch YouTube for three hours."
This thinking is so dangerous. Not only is it impressing upon you that your skills are worthless, but it's also giving you permission to waste your time.
*slams hand on table* STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. Trust me. You don't want this to become your permanent thought process.
You're thinking this because you're comparing yourself to others and finding yourself and your craft inferior. And because of this, you're too scared to work on your craft because you fear it will never measure up. But in not working hard on your passion, you're also not improving at it. And that's worse than working hard on a project and thinking that it's a failure.
Because failed projects will eventually turn into projects done right. But a project never completed can't ever improve.
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
You're just as good as they are - don't put yourself down.
I see these messages all the time. And they're right, but only on one count.
You can't compare yourself to other people. God didn't create you to be them. God created you to do things only you can do.
But the only way to discover these things is if you put in the work.
So stop reading this post. Go pull up that word processor and stare that blinking cursor down.
And write.
-Nicole <3
What did you guys think? I'm trying my hand at a different type of post - one that's more motivational. Heaven knows I need it. XD If you like it, I might do a similar one in February or March. :D
42 comments
Yes yes yes and so much YES! Nicole, thank you for this post. I know it’s sooo hard to sit down and write when we’ve got so many voices in our head telling us to do better. This post was much needing and SO inspiring. Thank you for sharing, Nicole! <333
ReplyDeleteThank YOU for reading, Danielle! I'm so happy this was inspiring for you! :D Those voices really are rough, but you can push past them. You got this. <3333
Delete“But in not working hard on your passion, you're also not improving at it.” < you couldn’t be more correct!! Ahh, I was just nodding my head and grinning so wide reading this post; you gave me the perfect motivation for today! I really love this new type of post, Nicole... you wrote it so beautifully <3333
ReplyDeleteAhh, yay, I’m so happy that this motivated you to get stuff done! I hope you had a productive day! <33333
DeleteGirl. GIRL. YES. DO MORE OF THESE POSTS. This was e v e r y t h i n g.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with the comparison game ALL. THE. TIME. And yeah, I tell myself it's dumb, but it's still THERE. And it's so poisonous. Because you're so right, God created me to be ME, not someone else. It's just a matter of me trusting in Him and putting in the work.
I LOVE what you said here: "Because failed projects will eventually turn into projects done right. But a project never completed can't ever improve." YESSSS. That is such a good reminder. We can't make beautiful things and grow in our craft if we let comparison keep us back.
Thank you for this reminder. I needed this. <3
*all the thumbs-up* Your enthusiasm gets me more pumped up to write another one!! :D
DeleteUgh, the comparison game really gets everyone, doesn’t it? *sigh* It’s so hard to remember that...
<3333 I’m so glad that resonated with you!
<3 <3 <3 Thank YOU for reading this - your comment made my day! :D
You have NO IDEA how much I needed this post today, Nicole - thank you! <3
ReplyDeleteAw, I’m so happy it came at the right time for you, Savannah! <3 <3
DeleteThis is SUCH an important reminder, and a great perspective I don't see from enough people. Thank you so much for putting this out there <3 <3
ReplyDelete*hugs* Thank you, Faith! <3 <3 <3
DeleteThis reminds me of a quote from the new Little Women movie. Talking about writing one character says, "I'm no Shakespeare!" And the reply is, " Thank goodness! We've already had him. "
ReplyDeleteThis post is so true! I always think that it is silly people would do that, but end up doing it myself every day. Wonderful post, Nicole! <3
Aaahh, that’s such a great quote! (I haven’t seen the new Little Women movie yet - is it any good?)
DeleteHaha, it’s super easy to fall into that trap, but you got this! <3 <3
Oh yes! The 1994 version will always be my favorite, but this was so good!!!
Delete<333 Thanks!
Yay, that makes me so happy to hear! *makes plans to go see it*
Delete<3333
Love this!
ReplyDeleteastorydetective.blogspot.com
Aw, thank you, Rakayle!
DeleteWow Nicole. This is just so so true. Honestly, I'm not a writer (lol, except for my 10 year old short stories), but this so applies in so many different areas. I'm a dancer and I often feel this, so this is really motivational, Nicole.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, I loved it. :)<3
http://accordingtoisabellakate.blogspot.com
-Izzy
I feel like a lot of creatives - whether we write, dance, sing, or whatever - go through a lot of the same issues, so I’m glad this motivated you! <3 <3 :D
Delete<333 AMAZING POST and, quite frankly, exactly what I needed!
ReplyDelete<3333 THANK YOU and I’m happy it came at a good time for you! :)
DeleteIngot the strong urge to leap up and yell "YEAH!!" at many points in this post. I applaud you. *Clap clap*
ReplyDeleteThank youuuu, Bethany! :D
DeleteThis was a great post (and such great timing!). I love reading motivational posts, not just because they're motivational or whatever, but because their intention is to build other people up. I love that.
ReplyDeleteIt really is so easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Half of the time, we probably don't even realize that's where we are at the moment. It's important that we remind ourselves of the truth: that we're not like other people. We're us. And that's awesome. And the reason we often don't see our skills is because we're too close to it. That's okay. It doesn't mean no one else will. *in Gandalf's voice* "And that is a very encouraging thought"
Thanks for this reminder today!
Aaahhhh, yay, I’m so happy the timing worked out! Yesss, I love the encouraging aspects of motivational posts, even if . . . they don’t always work XD.
DeleteSO TRUE! *hugs your words* You said it so perfectly! (and yesss, Gandalf quotes are always needed :D)
<333
I love this so much, thank you Nicole <3
ReplyDeleteAw, you're welcome, Isabel <3 <3
DeleteThis is such an inspirational post and so encouraging in a just-get-started-and-you're-halfway-there kind of way. A much needed reminder. <3 Thank you, Nicole!
ReplyDelete<3 <3 Thank YOU for your kind words, Kathryn! :)
DeleteThank you for this. I don't tend to compare myself to specific people anymore (at least as far as I know), but I still often have this general feeling of 'not good enough.' But there is no 'good enough,' because it's never going to be perfect.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I love the way you've said this, and it's such an important thing to remind myself.
*nods* That feeling is so rough - but you are definitely good enough! <333
Delete:D
Heyyyy - good job!! I love this post!!
ReplyDeleteThank youuuuuu, Danielle! <3
DeleteYEESSS GIRL! It was already a great post before you started talking about putting in the work, but then it just got even better. And called me out. How dare you. xD
ReplyDeleteI don't think I really fall into the trap of not thinking my art as good as other people's-- my downfall is comparing how far I haven't come with other people's progress. And wondering how much farther I could have gotten if I'd just worked harder.
But when you spend time worrying and thinking about that, you just waste the time that you could be using to move you along. xP It's such a silly cycle. But SO easy to get into.
I loved this post! I'd love to see more like this. :D
theonesthatreallymatter.blogspot.com
THANK YOU EMILY!!! I called myself out in the process too, don’t worry XD.
DeleteAaaahhh, yes, that one's a tricky one too. It’s wayyyy too easy to think that we can always be doing more, even when we can’t.
But YES, 100% agree with that!!
👍 I’ll definitely add another post like this to the drafting abyss. ;)
Oh I love this so much!!
ReplyDelete"Because failed projects will eventually turn into projects done right. But a project never completed can't ever improve." <--- UM YES
Awesome post! I really enjoyed reading it!
Hanne || losingthebusyness.wordpress.com
Yay, I’m so happy you liked it!
DeleteUm THANK YOU <3333
THIS IS SO INSPIRING THANK YOUUUUU. You should definitely do more posts like this, you rock this format. <333
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOUUUUUU FOR READING. And I’ll definitely plan on doing another one like this in the future! <3333
DeleteFantastic post! It's so easy to fall into the comparison game and use it as an excuse.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Skye! And yes, it’s way too easy to start playing that game. 🙁
DeleteNicole I love this! I really like how you covered this topic, and it was very motivational.
ReplyDeleteYay, I’m so happy you enjoyed it, Diamond! <3
DeleteWelcome to the comment section! I love hearing what you guys think and seeing you guys talk. Just remember to keep it clean, and as always, check back for my replies! <3
-Nicole