Happy Sunday!

Welcome back to another episode of Nicole being let down by a hyped franchise. Today, the franchise in question is Death Note.

Death Note is one of the most well-known and acclaimed anime series, both inside and outside the anime community. Its fast-paced thriller plotline makes it easily memorable, and its dark themes provide great food for thought.

I'm going to put this out there: I LOVED the first twenty-five episodes. I honestly think they were amazing. But . . . *sigh* I didn't like the last . . . oh, twelve episodes or so? And since I'm pretty salty about that, I'm going to vent. XD

Before we begin, here are some things to keep in mind:

- This is my opinion. Clearly, it's a classic show for a reason. But just because it's a classic show doesn't mean I can't critique what I think is bad writing. You're free to disagree. I'm literally just writing this because I'm bitter.

- I'm going to be honest: I have not watched the entire show. I skipped some episodes in season two because I wanted the show to be done. (in case you're wondering, I skipped episodes 29-35.) I don't think these episodes will affect my analysis, however - my points have to do with the episodes I did watch. 

- Every single major spoiler is included in this post. If you have any intention of watching the show, I highly suggest you wait to read this. Then again, I don't think I would recommend this show for reasons I'll discuss in a second.

Now, since some of you don't know what this show is about, I'll give you a brief summary . . .

Seventeen-year-old Light is bored in school when he finds a notebook (the Death Note) that allows him to kill any person whose name he writes inside. Taking on the alias of Kira, he sets out to create a perfect society where there is no crime, no war, no evil. yes, he does that by killing people. Soon, however, opposition appears in the form of L, a super-smart individual whose true name is unknown (and so is safe from Light for now). L takes it upon himself to bring Kira to justice. Light and L enter into a war of wits - the first one to discover the other's identity will die.

Basically, the entire plot is filled with Angst and Drama and heart-pounding tension. 

And oh yeah. There's a lot of death. 

Death Note has such a dark premise that, again, I can't recommend it. But just because it has a dark premise doesn't necessarily mean it has bad writing. 

Let's start with something positive about the show, shall we? 

PART ONE: THE ANTIHERO

As you can probably tell by the summary, our main character, Light, is not the greatest person ever. He's basically a mass-murdering, psychopathic genius. 

I'm sorry, this was too good to not include

In Death Note, we view everything from Light's perspective. Because of this choice, we see what makes Light tick, what morals (if any) he has. And it really puts us, the audience, in a difficult position.

On the one hand, Light is a mass-murdering, psychopathic genius who is killing hundreds of criminals every week. He seems to have no concept of redemption or of saving human life, even if that life has done horrible things. 

But on the other hand . . . the reader can see where he's coming from. He, like the rest of us, has seen the world in all its imperfection. He's seen the evil of sin. He's seen people do terrible things. And we understand his reasoning about why he's doing the things he's doing. It even scares us, because we're forced to ask ourselves: would we do the same thing if we were given the opportunity Light was?

also Light is one of the most dramatic writers of ever

Light is the main character, but he's also an antihero, even the villain character (from a moral standpoint). I don't typically see antiheroes act as the main character, usually because they're doing horrible things. And why would we want to root for the character that's doing the horrible things?

well, I guess there are Light fangirls, but I'll save that rant for another time

But I actually appreciate the fact that we don't have to root for Light, though we're seeing everything through his point of view. There's a certain distance between us and Light; he almost seems unrelatable. He's immediately presented as a super-smart teenager who acts like a playboy and is distant from everyone. And while I suppose his loner qualities could be relatable for some, many of his other traits are not. I know I personally couldn't relate to Light at all. I felt light-years apart from him.

I think that's a good thing as well. We don't want to especially see ourselves in Light's shoes. I mean, morally, he's the bad guy.

But there's another reason why we don't necessarily have to root for Light. There's someone else with whom we can place our allegiance, someone who is slightly more relatable. 

Enter L, the best character in the entire show. 

At least for a time.

PART TWO: THE DEATH

In my opinion, L is one of the more "relatable" characters in the entirety of Death Note, possessing the most accurate moral compass out of the main characters. While his morality isn't exactly perfect (he's very similar in Light in many ways, except that he values human life slightly more), he's someone we can support. And in a show where morality is a key theme, this becomes important.

L is also a powerful antagonist of the show (if you define antagonist as the opposer of the main character). He's smarter than Light and is able to match wits with him at every turn. He is the reason why we sit at the edge of our seats the whole time - we're wondering if he'll finally catch up to Light this episode, if he'll finally bring "Kira" to justice.

also, can we talk about the fact that L literally is a hermit who eats sweets all the time, only wears sweatshirts and jeans, and spends his entire day staring at screens? #relate

this GIF has no significance to anything, I just think it's funny XD

In a show as smart as Death Note, the antagonist needs to be just as intelligent as the main character in order to keep the plot fast-paced and engaging. As a result, the rivalry between Light and L is at the center of most of the storyline. It brings emotion and action, as well as some character development on the part of L. 

At least for the first twenty-five episodes.

*sigh*

And then Light manages to kill L.

Let me repeat that.

Light manages to kill L.

This is a game-changer, and not entirely for the best. Because by choosing to kill off the main antagonist, the writers unleashed a whole host of problems. And let's see how they did with that.

also I lowkey sobbed over his death and was dead for a solid 14 hours after. so. there's that.

the fORESHADOWING *cries*

First, there's the issue of what this death causes in the plot. By killing off L, Light removes his only opposition to getting what he wants: to make a new world where his word is law. So in episode 26, he essentially gets what he wants. His goal is, in a sense, completed. To be sure, creating this world will take some time. But as we see just an episode later, he's well on the way, and he views himself as accomplished.

In order to TELL us that he's in the midst of completing his goal, the story time-jumps and info-dumps. The time-jump is fine. The info-dump . . . is quite clunky. It's very unlike the fast-paced plot of the first 25 episodes, and such a difference is jarring at best, not to mention confusing at times.

Then, there's the issue of the antagonist in question. As stated earlier, Light has gotten rid of his only opposition. No one else is left to oppose him.

Or so we're led to believe.

In the middle of the aforementioned info-dump, the writers add two completely new side characters with whom we have no history or attachment. One of them, Mello, is just about the blandest villain one can think of. He just wants the Death Note (the killing notebook) for personal gain, and his only personality trait is that he loves chocolate. I mean, I relate, but it's still annoying. He never truly feels like a threat, even though he kidnaps Light's sister - because in terms of intelligence, he can't rival Light. It's even stated that only L could do that. And L's gone.

The other new major character is Near, and in essence he's a slightly less smart version of L. He even looks and acts like him. While L is supposed to have been his "mentor" of sorts, we have no past history or knowledge of him. We don't have any rivalries between Light and Near to care about.

At this point, I just didn't care. I couldn't root for Light because his morals were way off-kilter. I couldn't root for Near because I didn't know him, and I didn't care about him. And even if I hated both characters, there was no emotional undercurrent to get sucked into.

So the following sequences were just intellectual battles between two people that I had no interest in seeing win. And when I don't care what happens, I tend to skip episodes or stop watching.

So I did.

If you kill off your antagonist, you HAVE to replace him with another one that's even more threatening, or else the stakes just collapse underneath your story. And that's exactly what happens after L dies. I went from being able to watch 8 episodes completely engrossed, to watching 1 and feeling bored, checking how close I was to the end of the episode.

#calledout

In a show that's literally built on intellectual battles, that's not a good thing. Intellectual battles are hard enough to make interesting. The logic has to be advanced enough so the audience can't follow it on surface level, yet simple enough that when it's explained, it makes sense. And Death Note did a fantastic job of this. But I didn't care enough to follow the logic, so I also found myself lost on several occasions.

Look, it would have been better writing for Light to win for good after he killed L. If the show had ended there, I wouldn't have been happy, but I would have been satisfied. 

But the ending even ruins the chances of that. Because Light ultimately loses.

And ironically, I didn't like that. . . .

PART THREE: THE ENDING

I realize that I skipped episodes 29-35 and went straight to 36-37 (the climactic episodes). Surprisingly, I was able to follow almost everything that happened in terms of new characters and plot twists.

But my general feeling after the final episodes was that of complete and utter dissatisfaction. Let me explain, before you all start yelling at me that "Light was defeated, and since you weren't rooting for him, shouldn't you be happy about that?"

I was. And I wasn't.

Yes, throughout the show, I consistently rooted for L. I wanted Light to go down and get what he deserved for murdering all those people. 

But the way the climax does this is so unsatisfying. Light is defeated not by L, but by Near, the "L rip-off" of sorts. And as I said before, the intellectual battles against the two were never as interesting or intense as the ones between Light and L. L was the true antagonist, the true opposition to Light.

THIS SCENE WAS GOLDEN

If L had discovered Light which he kind of does? it's complicated it would have been SO SATISFYING. Not only would Light have been toppled by his biggest rival, but L's suspicions would have been confirmed in such a dramatic way. It would have been rife with emotion, since L had begun to consider Light a "friend."

But since nothing that emotional happened, I just . . . I just didn't care when Light was killed. I didn't. I should have been happy that he finally got justice. But there was nothing truly special about the way he was discovered. He was just discovered because he messed up. There was no underlying emotional history with Near to make this scene truly impactful.

Maybe I would have cared more if I'd watched those episodes I skipped. But I honestly don't think so. I don't think Near could have been a better antagonist than L. It's even stated that he's not as smart as L. 

Near found him. Good triumphed over evil at last. Yay. 

If only I cared.

And apathy is just about the worst thing to walk away with after a TV show, especially one with so much excitement.

It felt like the true fight had ended twelve episodes prior, when Light killed L.

So how can I summarize this behemoth of a blog post?

- Making an antihero/villain character your main character can provide for some really interesting interactions between the character and the audience and, when done right, will force your audience into being EXTREMELY conflicted.

- You can kill off your antagonist! Just make sure the stakes don't drop, and create a new antagonist even more powerful than the first one. (Even better - foreshadow that this person exists before the first antagonist dies, so that this second one doesn't appear out of nowhere.)

- Your climax should be both physically and emotionally intense. Your audience needs to feel like they have some stake in the showdown for them to care about what happens. Even if your ending is more of a tragic, real one, it should still, to an extent, be satisfying.

*deep breath*

Yep. That's the post about Death Note. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go crouch on my chair and stare at my laptop screen while eating some junk food.

-Nicole <3

Have you seen Death Note? Who's your favorite antihero main character? What are your thoughts on killing antagonists? Let's talk! (also, if you've seen Death Note, please don't take this post as me saying you can't like it. that's not the case! I'm just bitter that my favorite character died XD)

Happy Sunday!

Finally, finally, we've reached the end of this crazy year. It feels like it passed in a snap, but also January was approximately six million years ago. XD

This might sound weird, but I've actually been really excited to write this wrap-up. 2020's been such a strange and hard year, but to me that's all the more reason to document it. And at the end of this decade, I want to look back and remember 2020 and everything I learned.

why am I planning a decade reflection blog post already. help.

Anyways, this is going to get long - as they always do. It'll be a lot more reflective since I want to get my honest thoughts down. So feel free to skim. This post could get interesting. XD

When I thought back on my favorite stories of 2020, a lot of things came to mind. Surprisingly, though, I had a hard time thinking of books. It's strange, because I know I read a lot of amazing books this year. 100 Days of Sunlight was definitely my favorite read. I also really loved the Lockwood and Co. series and Blank Mastermind, both of which I'm planning to reread in 2021.

But my favorite stories of 2020 weren't books. They were anime.

Wow, that feels odd to type. Last year, I had barely watched any anime. I thought it was weird and not my type of content, and the few episodes of My Hero Academia I'd watched hadn't overly impressed me.

And . . . yeah, I still think anime's weird. XD But I was SO wrong in thinking that anime wasn't up my alley. I loved nearly every single show I watched this year.

My Hero Academia gave me the motivation to get through my spring semester and even do a little exercise sometimes. ;) Your Lie in April made me laugh and cry and realize just how much I value music and my friendships. Fullmetal Alchemist quickly became my second-favorite TV show of all time, and I'm not kidding when I say the ending was unlike anything I've ever seen before.

There are so many other examples: A Silent Voice, Attack on Titan, even Death Note . . . all of them, in some way, literally changed my life.

Even the fandoms of some of these shows were so mind-blowing. I got into the Villain Deku side of the My Hero Academia fandom, and while I only regret watching some of the animatics, it gave me inspiration to write a villain origin story and introduced me to some of my favorite songs ever.

Speaking of songs, I also found my favorite genre of music through anime: J-pop. I listened to a LOT of music this year, and 92% of it was j-pop.

In short: Anime introduced me to amazing characters and songs, blew my mind with every show, and gave me some of the best memories of 2020. <3

And if it's all right with you guys, I'd like to talk more about anime and fandoms next year. Let me know in the comments if that's something you want to see. :D

In terms of writing this year . . . man, I don't know. It's been a weird writing year, to be sure. I entered into a love-hate relationship with the Inhumans, which I'm now back to writing again, this time with substantial edits set in place. XD It's been . . . an interesting time. But I think I'm finally on a better path with this story, and I'm so, so glad for it.

Other writing feats of 2020:

- finishing the first draft of Project Chaos, which made me cry XD

- writing down six thousand story ideas and never acting on any of them

- forgetting to write down another six thousand story ideas (specifically on Christmas) and dying inside

- getting published on Havok again! :D

- getting published in a Havok anthology!! *still mind-blown*

- procrastinating

- more procrastinating

- yeah. it's very sad. BUT my goal for 2021 is to take my writing way more seriously and make a conscious effort to do it every day. We'll see how it goes.

Honestly, you all made 2020 amazing. I met so many of you this year and got to know a lot more of you better. <3 <3 You all are the best community of writers and readers I could ask for. :D

And you really liked some of my posts. As of the end of this year, the Get To Know Me Tag - Writer's Edition was my top post, which is kind of strange, seeing as that was one of my very first posts. *shrugs* Another really old post you liked was my Seven Characters with Great Redemption Arcs post. 

how are all these old posts getting so much traffic??? can someone explain please??

This year, 79 of you followed me, and you viewed my blog almost 50,000 times. 

Wow.

Seriously, thank you so much. You are all amazing, kind, beautiful people. <3 <3

*cue the rambles*

I was going to wrap up everything that happened this year, but we all know 2020 has been a TRIP, and that task just felt so overwhelming. 

I was reading through my 2020 journal entries to try and gather my thoughts, and to my surprise, recurring themes kept popping up. I was astounded at how I saw God work in my life this year. He answered my prayers in ways I didn't even think possible. 

I also saw a huge theme of self-reflecting. I started journaling a lot more frequently, and I documented the different lifestyle experiments I tried and the things I tried to make me more productive. While most of these backfired in embarrassing ways, it really helped me figure out how I tick.

And I tick in very time-wasting ways.

So that's why my phrase for 2021 is to live intentionally. 

I have to start taking opportunities when they come, listen to my gut, and stop wasting my time. Because if 2020's taught me anything, we only have a limited time to enjoy what we have and make an impact.

Well, in a few days, 2020'll be over. I can't even begin to imagine what will happen next year. I know that things won't automatically get better once the New Year arrives. 

But I can't wait. 

And at the risk of jinxing it all . . . bring it on, 2021.

just kidding, please come in quietly and don't make a fuss

-Nicole <3

How was your year? Do you have any goals for 2021? How are you spending your last days of 2020? Let's talk before the year ends!

Happy Sunday!

Usually this time of year, I try to write a post about Christmas. I don't make posts about my faith that often, but I at least try to do it around major holidays, like now.

But this year . . . I don't know why, but it's been so hard for me to narrow down a topic. Everything this month has been so weird, even for 2020.

*sigh* how is it already December?

This year's been intense. It seems like everything bad that could happen, has happened. There's a lot of fear and despair in the air, and everyone's been counting down to 2021, me included.

But look. If I'm going to be brutally honest here, moving from December 2020 to January 2021 isn't going to change anything. The change of year itself won't suddenly make everything better. If only it could. 

I don't know about you, but knowing that kind of makes me feel a little sad and depressed. Do we not have anything to look forward to?

And that's why I think it's so important to celebrate Christmas this year.

This season is a season of love, of the love that the Father gave us when he sent his Son to Earth, when Jesus took on our human nature and was born a tiny baby in a manger. 

It's a season of hope, of waiting, of rejoicing that our Father hasn't abandoned us, even in times of darkness.

Right now, it's so easy to see all the darkness, all the sin, all the despair of the world. It only seems to get worse in each passing moment.

But that's not all that's there. There's love and hope and faith and joy, even if you have to search to find them. There's beauty in the stars that sparkle each night and the snow that sweeps across the grass. There's joy as kids finish up their semesters and when friends see each other on video call. 

And there's the ever-present reminder in Mass and songs and Christmas trees that our God hasn't abandoned us. There is still hope for a better day. He didn't make the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate act of love, so we could despair forever. He didn't come down and assume our own nature just for us to lose hope.

Sure, this year's Christmas celebrations might be a little different, a little more lonely than usual. But just remember: there is still hope. 

And as we move closer to the new year, we need to bring that hope with us and let it drive our actions.

God is with us. Emmanuel.

- Nicole <3

Merry Christmas, friend. <3 <3